The Land of the Free

Newsflash. More Americans are in prison than serve in the military (double). Less than 0.5% of the U.S. population serves in the Armed Forces (yes that includes the Coast Guard and the Air Force). Compare that to the over 1% of the American population serving a prison sentence. This can be viewed one of two ways: either (1) More Americans are criminals than ever before anywhere in the world, or (2) Americans criminalize more than ever before anywhere in the world. I will leave that up to you. On the subject of crime, how much are Kyle Payne's favorite actors making these days? Obviously not enough when they have to resort to crime and join that 1%. Maybe the feminist craze is hurting the south philly porn industry. Either way, those two won't be degrading women anytime soon, dirty criminals. So would feminists prefer these two men out of work and unable to apply whatever skill or ability is required to produce adult films? I think that is a question for our Mormon friends to debate.

VS.

Braaaaains!

Bill O'Reilly is a Samurai

Samurai were required not only to be great warriors, but to be cultured as well. Bill O'Reilly is a Culture Warrior. Coincidence?

Sleight-of-Hand

Perhaps you've seen the articles. There's mountains of them.

And it's all a lie.

The real story here is the connection between John McCain and donors such as George Soros and Teresa Heinz Kerry. Talk about shady business. Why aren't George Soros and Teresa Heinz Kerry on the campaign trail if they love McCain so much?

Oh, yeah. Because politicians are sneaky bastards.

So at a time when this little tidbit finally comes to the public's attention after seven (7) years, it only seems appropriate to cover up the news with something a little bit more "Fox Newsy." An affair is the perfect thing! It's just the sexy that Fox News really needed. And it must be said: I really don't give a flying rat's ass about this alleged affair (which I don't believe happened).

From the Times Article:

Asked if he ever had a romantic relationship with the woman, Vicki Iseman, 40, Mr. McCain, 71, responded, "No." He described his relationship with Ms. Iseman as "friends" and said he had last seen her "several months ago" at an event.

McCain’s wife, Cindy, stood at his side throughout the news conference. She told reporters that she was also disappointed with The Times. "And more importantly, my children and I not only trust my husband, but know that he would never do anything to not only disappoint our family, but disappoint the people of America," Mrs. McCain said. "He’s a man of great character."

Good for McCain and his wife, by the way. But here's the real story, about the connection between George Soros, Teresa Heinz Kerry, and John McCain.

Teresa Heinz Kerry has donated more than 4 million bones to the Arizona senator and his campaign manager.

And George Soros has been funding the McCain Train since 2001.

Question:
Why would McCain be associated with these people?

Question:
Why would he risk his candidacy by accepting bribes from these people?

Answer:
Because he's been in bed with them the whole time. We are about to become victims to a vast conspiracy.

The government is lying to us. They aren't telling us about what is really going on. They have pulled the wool over our eyes. Appropriate, because it is our wool. We're the sheep. And we've allowed this to happen to us.

Great Moments In National Security

Courtesy of www.politico.com

Classifieds: Future Wife Wanted

Right now I am listening to the "True Love" by Angels and Airwaves and it got me thinking about all of the attributes that are required to make a relationship last with me. Here goes nothing:

1. Must be an avid sports fan

I love sports. You must love them too. You can't like just any sports either. You must like real sports. Figure skating won't cut it for me, honey. The basic rule of sports is if you have to wait for a few minutes after you complete your event to find out if you won, it's not a sport. It's an athletic event.

2. Must like the right teams

I am not saying that you have to root for the same teams that I do, but you can't root for ones I can't bear. For example, I am a fan of the Kansas Jayhawks. If you are a Missouri fan, I will understand that you are just a misguided soul, but still be able to stand you. However, if you tell me that you are a fan of Syracuse I will have a problem. It's not that I hate Syracuse, I'd just rather watch a team without fearing that my retinas will burn out.


3. Must be a cheap date

Pretty self-explanitory. I don't have a lot of cash and the money I do have should go to me.

4. Must not expect me to put the toilet seat down

I pee more often than you. Trust me. It's more efficient to leave it up.

5. Must not have high expectations for me

I really am a sad excuse for a man. If you keep that in mind I might just surprise you sometime. If not, you will be greatly dissapointed.

6. Must be smart, but not too smart

Must be intelligent enough to have quality discussions, but not bright enough to win them. Until we're married. Then you will win every argument my default.

7. Must have Packers season tickets

Duh



If you meet all of those requirements, please let me know in the comments below. If not, I'll keep holding out.

Irony

What do you do with degrees in Philosophy & Religion, Social Consciousness, and Women's Studies? Apparently, you go to jail. I know he must be proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, and trial by jury of peers, blah, blah, blah. He always seemed a tool to me, but I never thought he would be a felonious tool. It does seem a little ironic that someone who was a lead advocate for sexually assaulted women could be charged with assault. Oh yeah, and tried using his own photographic evidence. BRILLIANT!

As an advocate and a resident adviser, he was supposed to be an individual of strong moral character to whom others could look up. How disappointing. I can only imagine how annoyed his ethics professor must be.

For good measure, let's add activists/advocates on to my previous declaration about politicians, carbon monoxide, and iocane powder.