Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Save the World, Take Up Smoking!

For a long time I believed the hype. If I had anything to do with smoking cigarettes, there would be very serious repercussions. There are all types of problems that could occur: death, cancer, or even asthma (three words: suck it up). The government has even gone so far as to stereotype smokers as people so addicted to cigarettes that they need to interrupt the birthdays of children living in single-parent households.

Even those liberals in Hollywood portray cigarettes as a means to kill innocent people.



But no more! I will not listen to this propaganda any longer! Now I know that healthy people actually cost the healthcare system more than smokers do! Using my brilliant deduction abilities, that means that smoking will actually save me money through insurance costs! For so long I thought of smoking as something completely illogical. How wrong I was. The smokers I saw were actually doing their part to keep down their healthcare costs. Brilliant! Now I plan on smoking at least a carton a day to insure my future. If nothing else, when a plane full of terrorists tries to get away on an airplane leaking gas, I'll be ready.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

By its very existence, Zoolander makes the world a better place... proof that those "Hollywood liberals" do something right. ;)